feel so confused and depressed these few days. i don't know what's wrong with me. everything seems so dull to me and i feel like there's a heavy stone upon my heart making me hard to breathe. i don't even feel like talking. i just want to keep my mouth shut most of the time. smiling with an open heart has become so difficult for me now. i don't know how to smile when i see my friends in school. i try to give a sincere smile but i can't do it. my smile just looks so fake. sometimes i get amused because of some funny little things but i get depressed again within a few seconds. cureless. i wish there's someone who is willing to listen to me even though i don't know how to describe those strange feelings of mine. usually i just keep everything to myself because i don't want people to think that i'm just trying to get some attention or throwing out some excuse, but this makes me suffer.
i need to see a psychiatrist. i wanna smile sincerely, i wanna breathe fresh air.
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